Kanayama Jinja is a shrine in Kawasaki, a little south of Tokyo. Though the date of its founding is largely unknown, the practices that made this shrine well known began in the Edo Period and continue to this day. The shrine was originally founded to honor blacksmiths, but it changed over time to protect issues related to business, fertile harvests, and, well, let’s just say “love” for now. Every year there is the Kanamara Matsuri in early April which brings visitors from all over Japan and the world.

For the casual: 10. For the educated: 1.

Before I keep going, I want to stress the NSFW aspect of the following review and the related vocabulary. If you are not of age (18 years+), please don’t read.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Well, let’s get real. The Kanamara Matsuri is also known as the Penis Festival. On any given day, visitors are welcome to the visual cornucopia of phalluses adorning, decorating, and inscribing everything from stones and anvils to flags and prayer boards. Visitors to shrines are welcome to buy small wooden placards upon which they write their wishes and dreams. At this shrine, many of the placards have adult imagery with some very very racey content from young anime girls fawning over a great big dick, jacked men jerking off, and so much more on every single placard.

Whatever the shrine is on a normal day, the festival amplifies it exponentially. A parade of enormous phalluses makes its way through the street, vendors sell penis lollipops, and souvenirs adorning the male genitalia are sold on shirts, towels, hats, and so much more. Often visitors feel the need to enhance their own lives with the contents of this festival and will make/wear their own festival-inspired attire. To say the least, the festival is a very popular occasion. Admitance to the shrine itself requires waiting in line for several hours, and this is the line you have to wait in if you want any of the penis sourvenirs from hats and towels to carved raddishes and carrots.

The parade itself I missed so I won’t be able to say much, but it’s like most any shinto parade except that the mikoshi, the portable shrines, are large penises instead of ornate lacquer boxes. Mascot-style vaginas will also march with the parade because firtility is not always about dicks. The parade is usually in the late morning and can be quite the rockous event with large crowds in attendance.

I’ll finish this with some quick thoughts. This event is really a foreigner party with lots and lots of dicks. My favorite part of the festival: the proceeds go to HIV research, so not only can you have a fun time, you can also support a good cause.